Time Out

It's amazing how time goes at this warp speed. It's like you have these plans, and things you want to accomplish, but time some how, always interferes.

When I was 'growing up', the only thing I ever thought about was 'growing up'. Why at such a young age, do we want to 'grow up'? I ask myself that question - a lot. The days seem endless when we're young. Now, they pass by us, at lightning speed.

As I've lived - as I've learned - time is most certainly, so short these days; my desire is to cherish every moment - to never take ANYTHING for granted. After all, we're not promised tomorrow. And if it were my time to go today, I wouldn't want to look back on my life and see a sea of regrets.

I sit and think about all of the amazing blessings in my life. I watch my son Eli, growing up right before my eyes, and I'm simply amazed by him. I can't say it enough that he is the JOY of my life. I'm so lucky God thought enough of me to let me become a mom. WOW. What an amazing gift.

I marvel at this life - the people in it; the ups and downs - the sometimes daily struggle to just be the people we are. Life shouldn’t be about the things we don’t have, but about the things/people that are right in front of us. It’s a shame it takes us so long to figure that out. But, perhaps that’s why new beginnings and second chances are a part of it all - why we're given this precious gift of TIME - even when being a grown up is a little difficult some days - even when time goes by, at warp speed.

We will always dream of hope, of change…yet, there is so much struggle for meaning, for purpose, and only in the end do we find it in each other…in the fantastic, in the mundane, the simple human need to find a kindred, and to know in the end that we are not alone…and that all we need is each other.

My son Eli will be a year old, Dec. 12th. Amazed at how fast this first year has gone. So blessed to be his mom. Can't wait for the many more moments ahead. :)

Blessed + Thankful = An Amazing Year

It's amazing how time has flown by this year. So many ups and downs. Beautiful moments. Scary moments. Tears. Love. Failure. Success. Doubt. I play back the months, over and over sometimes. I think to myself, 'I could have done this better.' Or, 'I should have done this, and not that.' While I have no regrets, I think to myself sometimes, 'why couldn't I have done that differently?'

It's funny how time changes you. How life changes you. How specific moments in your life, define the moments that come after. I'm amazed at how my family has changed, my sisters, my parents, my son. It feels like he was just born yesterday, yet we're about to celebrate his 1st birthday in December. Hardly believable to me. He's transformed, right before our eyes. What a character too! Even in a day's time, he's changed - and sometimes, I notice after it's happened. Oh how I wish in moments like those, time could stand still and I could simply NOTICE.

My family is the most important aspect of my life. While I cannot pretend that the road hasn't been rocky along the way, I'm forever grateful for those moments - after all, we wouldn't be where we are without those moments. I think in times of uncertainty and frustration, we get a clearer picture of the kind of people we are. We identify our strengths - our weaknesses - our undying need to be LOVED and our desire to LOVE someone else. As human beings, that is a CORE ingredient to life - LOVE.

I'm so blessed that I have a family that loves me. I'm so blessed to have a son that is healthy and growing big and strong. I'm so incredibly thankful that I have sisters that are also my best friends. I'm so blessed to have a mom and dad, that despite our differences, still love me anyway. I'm so blessed that I can look up to the sky and remember in times of strife and struggle, there is a God that loves me, even when I'm not so lovable. There is a Swedish Proverb that I came across a few weeks back that I just absolutely love. It reads: “Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.” I'm definitely NOT the easiest person to love. But I'm thankful that the most important people in my life, love me past all of that. They love me, even when I don't deserve their love. How thankful I am that God does the same.

My sister snapped some family photos of my husband and I, and our little Eli a few weeks ago. I'm so thankful that we STOPPED and took the time to do so. The photos she took are the first family photos we've gotten since Eli was born. Oh how thankful I am that she could do this for us. She is so amazing, and I must say, makes Eli smile like no other! Amazing how time flies - but so thankful we have the privilege to snap a photo, and STOP time in its tracks! What an amazing year - and it's not over yet! Many blessings to all of you reading.

A Bittersweet Change

Life is such a roller coaster sometimes. There are moments where you’re going up, up, up – and moments when you’re going down, down, down. I have to admit, I’m not fond of the ride at times. However, I’m grateful to be on it too.

This week my sister Erin leaves for Denver. For quite some time, she’s wanted to leave South Bend – pursue her goals, her dreams in a place where creativity seems to seep from every angle. Colorado is quite breathtakingly beautiful – there is inspiration EVERYWHERE you look. Therefore, I can understand why she must go – why she must leave this place to pursue those dreams she’s always had, deep down inside.

My selfish nature wishes for her to stay close. While she IS my business partner, she’s first and foremost, my sister, my friend, my confidant. And I think that’s the part that makes this so hard. However, I understand why she must go, too.

It’s strange how things change. Change happens so suddenly some times - Slips in, without you even knowing it. But, change is good. I think the ‘idea’ of change makes us recognize where we’ve been and where we’re going. It’s that roller coaster effect again – the ups, the downs, the changes of life – it’s all connected.

While I wish my sister didn’t have to leave, I understand this ‘change’ is needed – this roller coaster ride is going UP for her – and I’m confident that this new location on the map will bring her even more joy – and opportunity.

But just to make it clear – I’ll miss her more than words could EVER say.

This picture was taken by my dad, at the Battle Creek Air Show a few years ago - it's one of MANY memories that we'll treasure! LOVE my sister - so much!

Life ... Change ... Moments

Life is all about the moments that make it up. Sure, we don't know what lurks around the corner from day to day, but I like to think there is some order - some purpose in those moments. After all, those 'moments' are what make life worth living.

While change typically comes with years, moments change, people change - I still think change is a good thing. Often times it can be so overwhelming. Yet it remains one of those things that build character ... as I've gotten older, I've realized that change is such a necessity ... it makes us become the people we were always meant to become.

While I wish I understood life a little better, I've learned and continue to learn that having all the answers and understanding everything isn't a prerequisite for living life. You just do it ... and live it ... day by day. You learn from living, and through living you learn life's greatest lessons. It's amazing how that happens, yet I think that's what it's all about. In those lessons, that's where life picks us back up - and those moments that make it up, help us remember why that change was necessary - and we see another life ... change ... moment.